Massive Mumblings from Malaysia

Beautifully quotable
From Andi, in India

"Time got lost somewhere west of Delhi: a woman caught it in her sheer head-scarf and fed it to a goat, or a man wound it into his turban and let it loose somewhere in the Thar, where it wanders like a man for water."

Baggage

Friday night: one bag packed. Quite impressive, considering it was almost two days in advance. Needed to know how much space I have! Think I'm in good shape.

Some old baggage reappeared, in the form of shoes. Tempted to fill with dog poo. Or something equally as dramatic, but really not worth the effort, considering I didn't really care. But sometimes, awkward moments are fun to create. And then you get the glory in the form of a story.

I told Terri that she had to leave the country before I did--or at the very least, on my flight. Looks like we're seatmates!! She'll stop in Singapore though and return to her Korean friends' condo where she has her own bed and is given royal treatment.

Dream

Monday night: I couldn't go to sleep. Too much thinking, but not about what I needed to do before leaving Malaysia or even about my actual departure, but about the future. Thinking about bucket baths and mattresses on the floor and no hot water and huts in the village. I finally slept at about 8 am and mid-morning I had a dream. It went something like this:

I was with some unidentifiable friend (I think I knew who it was as I was dreaming but not now) in a jungle. There was a stream and when we crossed back over it, I noticed all the fish and a snake swimming in the water. I really wanted to put my foot in the water and sort of swish it around--not kick the animals exactly, but kind of. But my friend was like, no, you shouldn't do that.

Right then, we were distracted by the sound of a tiger or lion off in the distance. Then, we saw three kids run up and crouch down behind some bushes/a fence (?). I knew in my dream that these kids were local. Then we all watched as a wolf chased a man...and I think a man chased the wolf. Or else the wolf chased two men. Anyway, I also knew in the dream that these men were foreigners/tourists/(peace corps volunteers?!).

The wolf ate them both, then went after a woman. When he approached me, I didn't run like the others. I had an entirely different strategy. I pretended the wolf was my boyfriend. Instead of running away, I made him tango with me. Then he went off to chase/eat some more people and my mom came. She urged me to run away so the wolf wouldn't get me, but I told her that if I did, I knew I'd be eaten. But if I stayed, I'd be safe.

Then I woke up.

And my friend told me I'd said, "Go away" outloud while sleeping.

Dream interpretations welcomed! Prize for the best one!

The First Goodbye
Wednesday night



R. was the first person I cared about in Malaysia and the first person I had to say goodbye to. He leaves this afternoon to go to Bangkok and is supposed to be back at 10:30 pm Sunday; I leave at 11 pm. I may try to go to his gate, if I don't already have to be on the plane, though that might make things more difficult.

My eyes hurt today from the tears shed last night (and my head from the alcohol!). I saw a lot of him in first few months, probably was a bit dependent on him, since he was my first (boy)friend (and only friend for a month!). After that, spurts of contact. And I nearly lost touch with him last month after a text message tiff/misunderstanding. Thankfully, we put that (our egos mostly) behind us. Now we can joke about what was said then, which I think we both meant to an extent, though things got carried away. And it was on SMS, an easy venue to have miscommunication, with no way to determine tone and inflection.

I was lucky enough he was able (and willing!) to spend the day with me (and Terri). We had a Japanese lunch, with sushi passing us by on the conveyor belt, wandered the Megamall, played some pool and fooze ball. He even took us along to see his mom and 4 year old nephew before he jets away tomorrow for a few days. We played a game of Snakes and Ladders (it was always Chutes and Ladders when I was growing up!) and I came out the big loser!

The bag of pasta and jar of sauce that's been in my cupboard since January finally gotten eaten last night. In the midst of the emotions and drinks and pasta, I found out R. lied about something that mattered a lot to me when I was in Sabah for Christmas. It made my already miserable time, more miserable. And he did admitted he did it because he knew it would hurt me.

Things could have been a lot different...

The evening also reminded me how the same events and conversations are interpreted and remembered differently by different people.

Before I got out of the car, with U2 as backup music, I muttered something and was surprised to hear myself saying the word love. I didn't hear the normal, short words that typically precede and follow it and hoped it had gotten lost in the mumble and tears. But as I went to get out, he called me back.

"Jill. I love you, too."

Wow. I've only heard those words from (and said it to) one person besides "those legally required to say it to me" (a quote from Almost Famous) and my female friends.

I didn't really say it, did I? And did I actually claim OUT LOUD that I hadn't said it? Tacky and rude! Did he say it again even after that? I can't remember.

Had I meant it? Romantic or platonic? Or "I love the time we spent together?" As I think about it now, I don't know.

And what's the big deal, anyway?

The first time I said it, in the rocky fields of the Irish Aran Islands, surrounded by cows, was more than nine months into my first (and only) relationship. It seemed like such an important moment. And was very well planned and rehearsed.

This time...massive mumblings from Malaysia.

Hate

I’ve never encountered a Holocaust denier. But I realized last week that there’s something worse than that: a Holocaust…supporter.

My good, dear, close Malay friend A. shocked me when he said he thought what Hitler did (specifically, the killing of 6 million Jews) was good. I didn’t know how to respond, where to begin. The very possibility that someone could believe such things was outside my realm of conceptualization. And then, that someone I liked, had spent time with, had fun with, could think it...

I tried to make parallels, asking him if he thought it was right for white Americans to have black slaves, to lynch blacks, just because they thought they weren’t as good, as human, because their skin was black. Is it good if Americans think all Muslims are terrorists and try to kill them, bomb their countries? Perhaps a better comparison would have been if I had brought it closer to home and asked if it would be ‘good’ for Malays to kill all the Chinese (who, like Jews, tend to work in the business/economic sector) or vise versa.

The fact is, it’s because Hitler’s victims were Jewish and A. is Muslim that he can say it was ‘good.’ A.’s never met a Jew before. And his understanding of the End of the World is that the Muslims and Jews will fight (so I guess that means killing them before that is advantageous?) in an all-out war.

He’d seen Life is Beautiful, but wasn’t sure if he’d seen Schindler’s List. But, “those are just movies.”

Several days later, I saw my Omani friend. He got his B.A. in South Carolina and his father works for the U.N. Surely, he wouldn’t have the same opinion?

But, oh yes, he does. His English is better, but I didn’t hear anything at all convincing in what he said. Like A., he suggested it was deserved because of what’s happening in Palestine now. The Holocaust pre-dates the current transgressions of the Israel government, army, and settlers. If you think it’s unacceptable that innocent Palestinian women and children are killed by the Israelis, doesn’t the same logic carry through to the conclusion that the Holocaust (killing innocents just because they happened to be born Jewish) is also wrong? Where’s the consistency in logic?

Fortunately, when I asked my Tanzanian friend Farida, she disagreed with the others that such a thing could be considered ‘good,’ though I’d say she is the most religiously conservative.

[an aside: she consulted a Malay sheikh she usually agrees with and respects, who said that non-Muslims are not allowed into a mosque. That I cannot believe! See September archive for more discussion on this.]

I asked A. what he would think if I told him my Canadian friend he met last week were Jewish (she isn’t). He didn’t think she’d deserve to die, but that “Hilter must have had a good reason” for hating the Jews.

Do people who hate have good reason? In some cases, yes. According to this FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin about hate crimes:

“Hate, a complex subject, divides into two general categories: rational and irrational. Unjust acts inspire rational hate. Hatred of a person based on race, religion, sexual orientation, ethnicity, or national origin constitutes irrational hate.

The ultimate goal of haters is to destroy the object of their hate. Mastery over life and death imbues the hater with godlike power and omnipotence, which, in turn, facilitate further acts of violence.”

I recently saw American History X. I thought about the KKK, neo-Nazis, Matthew Shepard. A.’s question about the basis of Hitler’s hate compelled me to read part of Mein Kampf, but also made me want to understand more about the psychology of hate.

Robert Sternberg, Yale professor of psychology, has a book coming out next month addressing this very topic: The Psychology of Hate.

Sternberg is already quite well-known for his triangular theory of love. In his own words (and from his website):

“I have proposed a triangular theory of love, according to which love has three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Different combinations of these three components yield different kinds of love. For example, intimacy and passion together produce romantic love, intimacy and commitment together produce companionate love, passion and commitment together produce fatuous love, and so forth. All three components together produce consummate love.

I have also proposed a theory of love as a story, which specifies how people come to form the different love triangles. According to this theory, from early in life, people are exposed to various love stories, and as a function of this exposure and their personalities, they create a hierarchy of preferred stories. Examples of such stories are the business story (love is
like a business, with two business partners contributing to the business venture), the collector story (no one person can fulfill all one's love needs, so one needs to collect people who in combination, hopefully, will serve to fulfill those needs), the fairy-tale story (love is a story about a prince and a princess), and the war story (love is war). There are roughly two dozen stories in the theory at present.”

His hate theory mirrors the triangular and story aspects of his love theory.

The three sides of the triangle (passion, negation of intimacy, and commitment to hate) can be combined in many ways that then produce different kinds of hate. Hate can be hot, cool, cold, seething, simmering, boiling, or burning. An article from the Yale Alumni Magazine explores the theory:

“Commitment alone is "Cold Hate." For this, Sternberg cites the hatred people feel when they've been conditioned into prejudice, as the youth of Germany were after Hitler's rise. Many had never met a Jew, but thanks to comic books crafted to portray Jews as wicked, they harbored a cold, cognitive hatred. Sternberg notes that, post-9/11, some Americans feel cold hate for Muslims -- not an emotion so much as an entrenched intellectual devaluation…

Then there's complete hate, the hate of all hates -- "Burning Hate," made of rage, disgust, and commitment together… Burning hate is "the need for annihilation," Sternberg writes. It's "the hate you feel when 'it's us or them.'" It is the hate Hutu leaders felt for Tutsis, the hate some Americans feel for terrorists, the hate terrorists feel for Americans. This hate fills the news. This hate destroys nations...

Think of someone you dislike, and the story of what he did to you leaps to your mind. In the second part of his duplex theory, Sternberg proposes that we cannot hate without a tale to tell…Humans hate in narrative.

Whether international or interpersonal, hate stories are generally built on two fundamental flaws. The first is a confusion of aggressor and victim. The Nazis who packed women and children into train cars like cattle believed these same Jews were out to exterminate them. Othello, even as he kills Desdemona, feels she has wronged him. "Stories of hate tend to have two fairly stable roles," Sternberg writes: "perpetrator (who is to be hated) and victim (who is to be the hater).... People who do evil things tend to see themselves as the victims of those they persecute."…The second flaw is that the hate stories are factually wrong.”

Sternberg suggests that wisdom is the antidote to hate and has even created a curriculum for developing wisdom-related thinking at the middle school level.

Hate crime and groups

Law enforcement agencies reported 8,759 bias-motivated criminal offenses in the US in 1996. The FBI reported a seventeen-fold increase in anti-Muslim crimes nationwide during 2001, largely due to the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

There were 751 hate groups in the U.S. last year, according to Hatewatch, which also keeps a weekly list of hate crimes around the country and a map of hate groups. South Dakota and Vermont are the only states with no known hate groups.

Iowa has 6: The KKK, National Socialist Movement (neo-Nazi, Cedar Falls), Aryan Nations (neo-Nazi, Mason City), Nation of Islam (black separatist, Waterloo), the European-American Unity and Rights Organization (other, Ames), and Sigrdrifa (other, Olds).

I wanted to know what was in operating in Iowa, so searched for the Euro-American Unity and Rights Organization. David Duke. White Supremacy. From the homepage, a sidebar that read “Why do Children Hate? Teaching Tolerance: A Teachers Guide to understanding and correcting racial hatred in the classroom” caught my attention. “Violent behavior has increased as multi-culturalism and diversity programs have forced races together.” Wow. And hate crime laws “only end free speech. Freedom of criticism and expression are stifled.” The list of local EURO offices doesn’t include any in Iowa though, so hopefully Hatewatch is wrong…

Sigrdrifa doesn’t seem as overtly hateful on a quick perusal of their website: "Our mission is to provide educational materials to the global community, focusing on the cultural identity of contemporary and ancient European heritage." I’m sure that if I were to have joined the E-zine or Bulletin Board, I might have gotten some of that. But I didn’t want my email associated with a possible hate group, so will just have to believe Hatewatch on this one.

Urban Renewal in Cairo

A new park has opened up in Cairo since I left, which is also part of bigger scheme to "preserve the ancient neighborhood's character, yet not just in terms of aesthetics: the trust's aim to pinpoint spaces where the community could rebuild itself, and begin to foster a deeper sense of shared identity."

From the NYTimes, In a Decaying Cairo Quarter, a Vision of Green and Renewal:

The trust's approach is to attack urban blight with a kind of surgical precision rather than the brutality of the bulldozer. Its unspoken mission, in essence, is to stem the relentless flow of Western modernity. But this view of history is narrow. The vibrancy of cities like Cairo or Casablanca, Beirut or Baghdad, sprang from their rich absorption of influences: these are places where cultural frictions between East and West, modernity and tradition, spawned outbursts of remarkable creativity.

Cairo is a particularly cosmopolitan example. Its ancient city is a mix of Coptic churches and Arabic mosques. To the east spreads Ismail Pasha's Europeanized late-19th-century city, whose straight boulevards and English-style gardens - inspired by Haussmann's Paris and now almost all gone - were built to impress foreign dignitaries arriving for the inauguration of the Suez Canal. Nearby are the neo-Classical houses and lush overgrown yards of the Garden City district, an early-20th-century interpretation of Ebenezer Howard's suburban vision for London's outskirts.

These conflicting visions and historical ghosts are what gives the city its magical, dreamlike aura and its humanity.

Can't wait to go to the park when I get the chance to be back in Egypt!

Peace Corps

A PC trainee in Senegal tells it like it is:

Being in Africa is what I imagine being part of a huge family must be like—at it's worst, loud and smelly with never a moment of privacy. At it's best, always hospitable and dynamic, infusing you with energy and motion.

Click here to read more about her experiences, which have only just begun (hey Mom, that means you!). Gives me a good idea of what might be in store...

# posted by Jill @ 10/25/2004 01:48:00 AM 0 comments

Hindsight

I went to the International Islamic University last night to say goodbye to my friends there: Farida (Tanzania), Rahma (Kenya), Nurah (Phillipines), and Hidaya (Chinese Malaysian). Farida is a master chef, especially considering that cooking in the dorms isn't allowed and she has to make do with a rice cooker as her main instrument. Not only that, she's a food science masters student, so I trust that it's not too unhealthy. Rahma lets us overtake her room. Nurah accompanies Hidaya to the store to pick up last minute ingredients. I'm the taste-tester, since I'm not fasting and can (supposedly, but not very confidently) say if something needs more salt, more sugar.

As always, conversation is good. And the evening is fun. I had planned for this to be the last time I saw them, but had such a nice time that I hope to go back Friday to break fast with them (hopefully I'll be healthy enough to actually fast with them!).

Tonight I went to a Malay family's house to buka puasa (break fast). They are the in-laws of my Malay friend studying at the University of Iowa. The first time I went to their house was last Ramadan, and I think there were at least 15 family members there. We ate with our hands on the floor, I couldn't really communicate with anyone but the father, and two cars full of people escorted me back to my home on campus. One year later, I realized my Malay is much improved (though really, I think it ought to be even better--I was pretty lazy about learning it), I can handle more spice, and we squeezed into one car to go say hi to Hamizah (the one to the left of me) at work before dropping me home!

Tonight, after breaking fast with Malay family

Both last night and tonight made me wish I had spent more time with both sets of people. The Islamic University always seemed so far away and a bother to go to. I was shy to go to Nor's family's because I couldn't say much (but if I had gone, I'd know a lot more Malay now!). Nor's father-in-law had invited me several times to go to their village near Melaka, but I never had a chance (me always traveling and he and his wife were in Iowa for 4 months this summer). I wish I had made the time.

I wish I wasn't sick so I could have gone to Penang with A. and stayed at his house. His mom is so cute.

In general, I guess the thing I realized I missed out on is the family aspect of Malaysia. And the University girls are practically a family. Also a deficiency in my Egyptian experience, but not to the same extent. Too many young single guys in my Malaysian time. Not enough women. Not enough family.

In the next country, wherever that may be....

Spy

I have a stat counter on here and it tells me where people surfed in from. The strangest to date: a google search for "orang juice maker made in poland" gave my page as the first hit (of 22). It seems a post from February was enough: "t drink teh tarik, it was lemon juice (though it ... and pieces: The rattan is collected by orang asli (indigenous ... ve realized I’ma major list-maker and planner." I checked the same search, spelling orange with the 'e,' and it doesn't lead to my page.

Random

A. came with me to a nearby Chinese restaurant on Friday evening. It's only a few blocks from my house and I've been there at least half a dozen times. After eating, we were just sitting talking and a Sihk man pulled up a chair as he asked if he could join us. It didn't take long to tell he was drunk. He ordered a bottle of beer, but when the waiter brought it to him, he could only find 1 RM in the wad of papers he pulled from his pocket. The waiter waited (haha) and when he couldn't pay, he took the beer away. The Sihk man told us he'd be right back, that he was going to an ATM. Before he got away though, he took a swig from the bottle of gin that had been protruding from his pocket...and then promptly dropped it. As if everyone hadn't already been watching.

In the midst of all this action, I coughed and he asked me if I was sick. When I said yes, he said, "No, I'm Sihk." Hahahahahaha. I like that kind of joke.

I didn't really suspect that he'd come back, but before A. and I could decide to leave, three Malay guys sitting two tables away offered to buy us a beer. So of course we had to go join them at their table. A. actually says that he thinks they were Indonesian, from the accent/dialect. Anyway, we had a beer with these guys, who'd seen the Sihk incident (everyone did). One of them had been drinking since 3 pm (which says a lot considering it's Ramadan and that's not after sunset...), but they were being friendly and had the stated goal of just wanting others to enjoy themselves, too. They said they thought A. was "three line," which is the Malay mob, basically. Something about the way he smoked his cigarette.

Then the drunk Sihk came back and pulled up a chair. But he was being...difficult. Basically acting like he thought he was better than these guys and interrupting the others when they were speaking with A. or me. Then he decided to leave because he claimed one of the Malay/Indo guys showed him a knife. I doubt that, but we were in a public place and I wasn't really worried about our safety.

I was worried, however, about the drunk Sihk. Specifically, the car keys he had in hand. I asked him if he was going to drive and he said he had no choice...So frustrating and stupid!

We had a beer (or two) with these guys and went on our way.

It was a strange, random night. In a good way.

I had been coop-ed up at home all week and was itching to go out. We headed to Frangiapani in Bukit Bintang, a sheeshee bar (where it happened to be gay night) that was unfortunately playing techno, not hip hop.

So it goes

My mom asked if I was as sad to leave Malaysia as I had been to leave Egypt...

I think the difference is, the more I leave, the easier it gets. I've realized that this is how my life is going to be, at least for awhile. Traveling also makes the world feel smaller (as does technology).

I don't know when I'll be back, or when/where I might met these people again, but...someday, somehow. And until then...email...phone calls...postcards...And sometimes you might not talk to someone for a long time, but when you're in the same place, it doesn't matter, things just pick right back up as if there had been no interruption. I like that.

It does sadden me, some, to realize that things will never be the same though. Even if I come back to Malaysia, I won't be able to go to Rahma's room and eat with all of those girls again, because they, too, will be finishing their studies and moving on. But even over the course of the year in Egypt, my core group of Egyptian friends drifted apart and were hardly hanging out all together at the end like they had in the beginning.

Another difference was that I loved the work I was doing in Egypt. I really felt like I was making a difference. And I was so aware that I was lucky to be able to leave. To go home. To my family. Whenever I wanted. My refugee friends and clients didn't have that option. Even my Egyptian friends can't travel as easily as me (both because visas are difficult to get and money harder to make).

Recommendation: Dirty Pretty Things. Saw it again for the second time last night. About the desperation of asylum seekers in England and the lengths they're willing to go...Also has the girl from Amelie in it, Audrey Tautou. Love her, absolutely love her!

Today, October 23rd, is my one year anniversary in Malaysia!

And countdown reaches one-week-from-tomorrow-night for my departure.

Also noteworthy, I have a ponytail. This may be the first time in more than 10 years!

Refugees at Risk

From an email from a college friend now in law school:

I wanted to pass on some information about a disturbing bill that Congress is currently considering. The House version of the "9/11 Bill" contains some provisions that would have horrible consequences for immigrants, particularly aslyum-seekers. These provisions, which are not included in the Senate version of the bill, go far beyond the recommendations of the 9/11 Commission. If the House version is passed it would decrease legal protections for asylum-seekers and increase the chances that people fleeing torture or other persecution would be sent back to the countries from which they have fled.

Please go to the Human Rights First website and TAKE ACTION by sending Senators and Representatives considering the bill an email (already written, you just sign it!) noting your opposition to House provisions!

___________________________________________________________________________

Here is (a lot) more info from Farrin (she's going to make a great lawyer!!! The kind I would want to be!).

Expedites Removal: Deportation without a Hearing

The bill will require deportation without an immigration court hearing of non-citizens who have been in the U.S. for up to five years if they were not formally admitted by immigration authorities. The power to issue these deportation orders, which ordinarily is reserved to trained immigration judges -- will be entrusted to Border Patrol and other immigration enforcement officers. This could result in the summary deportation of people at risk of serious harm if deported, including battered women, children, victims of human trafficking, and Cuban nationals, who currently have the right to present their claims before an immigration judge. The provision will lead to the separation of families, the deportation of individuals who may have a right to remain in the U.S. because of existing family ties, and more cases of improper deportation of refugees who may face persecution upon return, something that Human Rights First has documented under existing expedited procedures. The bill also does not provide a way for people who fear they will be tortured if returned home to request protection they are entitled to under the Convention Against Torture, which the United States has ratified and is obligated to follow.

Adds Hurdles for Asylum Seekers

This section allows genuine refugees to be denied asylum if the State Department fails to document the problems they face, if a prior statement is viewed as inconsistent, if they do not submit corroborating evidence, and if they cannot prove the central reason they were targeted by persecutors.

Refugees often have to flee their countries under conditions that make it difficult, if not impossible, to bring corroborating evidence of their persecution. For instance, the U.S. government and human rights groups have documented how the homes and villages of refugees from the Darfur region of Sudan have been attacked and burned, forcing them to flee for their lives without their belongings. But this bill would allow an otherwise credible asylum seeker to be denied asylum if he cannot provide corroborating documents that an adjudicator thinks he should be able to submit.

Under this provision, refugees can also be denied asylum based on their demeanor or an alleged lack of consistency with a prior statement. The demeanor of a person who has suffered torture or persecution has repeatedly been found to be a poor indicator of credibility. That's not surprising, since victims of trauma often have a flat affect, and have difficulty in making eye contact or discussing the details of abuse. Reliance on demeanor is entirely inappropriate given cultural differences and the impact of torture. The provision could also allow asylum to be denied based on unreliable airport statements prepared when genuine refugees are most unlikely to volunteer information about their fears. A traumatized rape survivor is, for instance, very unlikely to volunteer to an armed border patrol officer that she was raped in her home country.

The bill also places a heightened and unrealistic burden on victims of persecution who are falsely accused of supporting guerilla, militant, or terrorist groups requiring them to show that the central reason for their persecution is their race, religion, nationality, political opinion or membership in a particular social group. So for instance, a refugee from Darfur whose family was killed and home destroyed after the Sudanese government or Janjaweed militia falsely accused him of supporting the rebel militia could be denied asylum if his persecutors targeted him both because of his race and because of their desire to take his land. Ironically, this provision will actually give a presumption of credibility to repressive regimes around the world who persecute or torture racial or ethnic minorities by accusing them of support for opposition groups.

Deprives Asylum Seekers and Torture Victims of Judicial Review

This section will eliminate stays of removal when a case is being reviewed by a federal court. This means that people in danger of torture or other persecution can be returned to the country that will harm them while their cases are pending before a federal court. The federal court may rule that the person is a refugee who will face persecution if returned, but the refugee may already be back in the hands of her persecutors because the U.S. did not stay her deportation.

Deportation to Torture or Indefinite Detention

The return by the United States of a refugee who is entitled to protection would be a direct violation of our obligations under the 1951 Refugee Convention and its Protocol. The return of a person who is likely to face torture would also be a direct violation of U.S. obligations under the Convention Against Torture.

Deportation to Places With No Functioning Government

Section 3033 would allow the U.S. to deport people to places that do not have functioning governments, making these people easy targets for grave human rights abuses. For instance, the provision would allow the U.S. government to send people back to countries like Somalia, where the lack of a functioning government has made conditions so dangerous that the U.S. government will not send its own employees there. Some of those who will be deported are people who have lived in the United States since they were children.

This provision will also allow U.S. immigration officers to deport people to other countries without notice during their immigration court hearings. As a result these people will be deprived of the chance to raise any fears of torture or persecution in these third countries, leading to violations of the Refugee and Torture Conventions.

_____________________________________________________________________________________


Refugees I Know

I also just got an email from Hakizimana, a young Burundi client of mine in Egypt. He has been referred by UNHCR to the US for resettlement! Earlier this summer, Mahmoud and Abdihakim, two Somali refugees, were as well. However, the process takes foreva, with lots of waiting and red tape.

Already, two Sudanese interpreters from our office are in the US--one in Utah, the other in Virginia. There is also the possibility that a Sudanese client of mine (my first!) may be in Minnesota, where he brother was already resettled. And a Sudanese friend is in the east of Canada. It makes me so happy to think that they will get a chance at a better life in the West. Living in Egypt, even with refugee status, gives them little opportunity for education or work...

Oh MAN!

I just wrote a really long post, but when I went to publish it, I got an error message and it disappeared! All that effort, vanished! GRRRRRRRR.

Here's what you're missing:

breaking fast at Yusof's

thumbs up from old man at the train station

splashed by car like in movies

blog I like: http://kathrynjane.blogspot.com/

my love for kebayas (picture below). and I'm having one tailor-made.



I don't have it in me to rewrite tonight...

Reminder: ctrl-a ctrl-c, before trying to post!

Free Will vs. Pre-destination in Islam
Confused

After a preliminary conversation with my Muslim friends at the Islamic University about the Muslim doctrines of free will and pre-destination, I read a book they gave me: The Salaf’s Guide to The Understanding of Al-Qadaa’ Wal Qadar: Fate in Islam, by Dr. Saleh As-Saleh.

It didn’t help remedy a contradiction I sensed from our initial talk.

I don’t understand how things can be pre-destined and then the claim made that man has free will.

I learned from this book that, according to Islam, “all of our deeds are pre-recorded in the Preserved Tablet” (also known as Al-Laouh ul Mahfoudh, Ummul Kitab, the Clear Book) and that what is written will certainly be executed. “It is not subject to any change whatsoever because it is based upon Allah’s knowledge” and, obviously, God is infallible and cannot be wrong (p. 41, 50).

“Allah’s knowledge compasses everything: He knew what had occurred, what will occur, and all that which did not occur. He knew everything about creation before He created it. He knew in His Eternal Knowledge about His creation; their provisions, life-spans, sayings, moves, deeds, secrets, all of their obedient and disobedient acts, who amongst them will be from the people of Al-Jannah (Paradise) or who will be from the people of Annar (Hell Fire)” (p. 17).

If all of this is known, written, and not subject to change, then aren’t we just going through the motions? Acting out a script?

The book asks and then answers (unsatisfactorily, in my opinion): Is Man Endowed With A Free Will? (from p. 106)

“Did you want to read this book by your own free will? Do you want to eat later? Do you want to go to bed when you feel sleepy? When it is time to pray, do you go and make Wudu’ (Ablution)? Do you choose the kind of car you want to buy? etc. The actions done by a mature person are based upon his free will. He has a will and he has an ability. If man has no free will, punishment on disobedience would be unjust! Similarly, obedience would be in Vain! Nay! but man has a choice, and his actions are foreordained by Allah, and He (SW) does not compel him to act. We know that when man wanted to do something and he was able to accomplish it, then Allah (SW) wanted to have it done:

‘To whomsoever among you who wills to walk straight, and you will not, unless (it be) that Allah wills.’ (Qur’an 81: 28-29)

Had man been compelled, he would have no will or ability to act. But since man’s will and ability are both part of his self, and that self is a creation of Allah, then man’s choice does not escape the Perfection of Allah’s Ruboobiyyah: Nothing occurs in the heavens and on earth but with Allah’s permission, He wills it.

There are certain things that happen without man having any will or choice in them. Such things are not attributed to man; for example, death, illness, being suddenly hit by a car, etc. All such matters are purely attributed to Al-Qadar [fate].”

If actions are foreordained by God, then they will happen; that eliminates choice. I can’t choose not to do it, because then God would be wrong.

Elaborating on a point mentioned above regarding punishment for disobedience, the author sets out to answer the following:

“Allah, the Exalted, knew and wrote that such and such person is going to commit an act of disobedience. Certainly this is going to happen exactly as Allah had preordained. Does he deserve punishment just because it is a matter preordained?” (p. 122).

I couldn’t have put it better myself.

The (unclear) answer: “Acts of obedience and disobedience come from the bondsman himself. They are executed by him, and occur because of his will and ability. He is actively described and judged by his deeds. Nevertheless, his deeds are created by Allah, and that does not contradict (the fact) that they are actions of the slave himself. So whoever commits acts of disobedience, then he has done them by his own choice” (p. 120-1).

Again, I see contradiction. If “Allah knew all about those who will commit wrong deeds before they actually commit them,” then what choice IS there really? (p. 122). Granted, humans don't know what God knows, so we're sort of making decisions on our own/with free will, but not really. Because the fact that actions are written and divinely foreseen means we will do one thing and not another. I suppose you could look at it not as God controlling or determining (thereby eliminating choice) but more of him anticipating what we're going to do before we do it. Like a psychic may know our future, but doesn't make it happen...

This gives me a headache.

And makes me all the more averse to religion.

Actually, I've been getting a lot more impatient with religious conversations in general. Well, at least when they're related to me. Or I see hypocrisy or inconsistencies or hate (upcoming post on that, still doing research...).

After a year in Malaysia, I'm all the more convinced I don't need or want a religion. I like to make my own rules, use the brain God gave me to determine conduct, right from wrong, how to live. And all that stuff we can't know for sure (e.g. see above confusion!), well, why sweat it?

Ahead of Schedule

Last week: completed my Fulbright evaluation form; mailed my absentee ballot ("Far fewer civilians living overseas — one-fourth or less, according to many estimates — have bothered to vote in previous elections because of difficulties in obtaining and returning absentee ballots. ")

Today: I took a box of papers and books to the Fulbright office today; they'll send it to the Embassy to have shipped. I'm that important.

Tomorrow: wiring money back to my bank in the States and picking up my plane ticket.

Then, I'll be virtually done with all pre-departure nonsense! 10 days in advance! Boo ya!

Warm Fuzzy

past
"i'm missing u'r spirt jilly, missing u'r voice, wishing u'r here but this is how it goes"

present
Turn your lights down lowAnd pull your window curtainsOh let jah moon come shining inInto our life againSaying oh it's been a long long long timeI kept this message for you girlBut it seems I was never on timeStill i wanna get through to you girl on time..on time....I want to give you some loveI want to give you some good good lovingOh I oh I oh...I...I want to give you some good good loving

Turn your light down lowNever try to resist oh noOh let my love come tumbling inInto our life againSayin' oh i Love youAnd I want you to know right nowcause I... ,that I....I want to give you some loveI want to give you some good good lovingOh I Oh I Oh...II want to give you some good good loving

Daily Dose

Another trip to visit my neighborhood doctor. No, really I'm not a hypochondriac. Bronchitis this time. cough cough. Bummer, because I'd been planning a pre-Ramadan trip to a Malay friend's house near Penang tomorrow. Ramadan starts on the 15th (most likely, have to wait for the moon).

I've got less than three weeks left in Malaysia. Trying to get all those "one last time" things done now, buy things, see people, etc. so I'm not super stressed and rushed at the end, though I'm fairly convinced it'll still be that way no matter what. The only thing I really want to do that I haven't done yet is go see the synchronized flashing of fireflies in Kuala Selangor, about an hour and a half outside KL.

I submitted my Peace Corps application Monday---only four days after I decided I was going to apply. Seems like it'll take a few weeks to hear back anything, but glad to have that in the works.

Took my absentee ballot to the Embassy today! Yea!

Backup

A few weeks ago I had an interview in Melaka, then headed down to Singapore to meet up with Terri. We stayed with her Korean friends in Holland Village, an expensive, trendy neighborhood with lots of nice, ethnic restaurants (we had Mexican!!) and so many ex-pats. The place kind of gave me the creeps. Sure Sing is nice, but...nice isn't enough. I confirm the 'no need to go back' analysis. (Though Terri was mentioning some interesting urban planning there, something I never give much thought to.)

The next day, we took a bus to Johor Bahru, I got my visa extension no problem, then we hopped on a bus to Mersing, grabbed lunch, and hippity hopped on a ferry to Tioman Island in the South China Sea. It was amazingly easy and we never had to wait for too long for any connection (we were flying by the seat of our pants, not sure of bus/ferry times, but lucked out).



Tioman Island, September 2004

Our Lonely Planet (burn that book!) lead us to ABC Beach (the ferry stops at several different points). In between the sporadic clusters of chalets and restaurants, there are rundown, abandoned ones and piles of trash...Not so nice. Of course, I didn't take pictures of that part. I thought about it, but realized that I usually try to sterilize pictures to show only the good, pretty things...

Chalet at Mohktar's Place. 20 RM/night.


We arrived on a Tuesday and stayed till Saturday. Twice we smeared on the sunscreen---but then it wasn't even sunny! It rained a bit each day, as monsoon season is starting. One morning we hiked to the other side of the island, Juara, in about two hours. That beach is so much nicer. It's a shorter beacher, cleaner, and more quiet. The problem is getting there. You have to pretty much hire a private boat to get dropped there, as the ferry evidentially doesn't go and the trek is too much to do with all your belongings.

Half an hour after arriving, it started to rain. A man was just coming out of the water and headed to a seemingly closed restaurant, but he told us it was open. We waited while he showered. Samad reappeared and basically only gave us the option of french fries, since he hadn't been to the market yet and his bread was baking in the oven. Who makes their own bread?!?! Amazing.

And those French fries were the best. Terri was loving the sandwich we finally got (I wasn't such a fan since there was mayo on it).

We began deliberating whether or not we should go back, not sure if/when the rain would let up. There's a road, but the cars weren't going because it was slippery and most of the road was dirt...And I only had my flip flops, so was also worried about falling if we walked back. I had randomly picked up a book from Samad's bookshelf that I was getting into, Oranges are not the only fruit, and wanted to finish it (first half much better than the second). We had only what we were wearing, but that didn't seem like such an obstacle. Samad offered us his own shirts to wear and the cabin next to the restaurant for 20 RM. It was much bigger than our other one and immaculately clean. We made a list of pros and cons and the pros totally outweighed the cons for staying, but we seemed paralyzed in our decision making for a long time.

We stayed. And didn't leave a 50 foot radius till the next day.

Terri also found a book on the shelf and we read while good tunes played and the rain fell.

That night Samad's Swiss friends/business partners for his dive school came for a dinner party. There was a 30-something couple, her 68 year old father, his 61 year old girlfriend (who, for her birthday, went diving for the first time!), and another 40-something Swiss woman. Plus Samad.

Dinner was like a banquet. Terri, fortunately, knew some French. That might be the first time where I wish I did. After dinner, the father wanted to sing some songs in honor of his older brother, who he found out had died that day. (He was from a family of 18 kids!) The daughter, girlfriend, and father sang traditional Swiss songs in French and it was beautiful, with harmonization. I especially loved how the father would look into the eyes of his girlfriend or daughter and hold their gaze as he sang. They were like the von Trapp family. The daughter even admitted that she used to play the accordion, until people made fun of her in her teens and she gave it up out of embarrassment. Her husband never sang, but watched as she did with admiration and pure love that I doubt I've seen before.

The father wanted Terri and I to sing something, but we failed miserably as dinner guests in that respect. We can't remember lyrics and can't carry a tune. We made it our goal to come back to KL and memorize at least one song for the next time we were in that situation. (With Apit's help, we had a jam session our first night back in KL, singing some Bob Marley, but...definitely didn't memorize anything and I definitely still can't carry a tune.)

Our bill for everything: lunch, dinner, drinks, cabin, snorkel gear (10 RM each, we didn't end up going because it was too cold in the AM), was 68 RM. That's less than $9 a person!

Tioman is cheaper than Perhentian for food and accommodation (and has duty-free), but the beach at Perhentian is nicer than ABC's. Juara's beach is comparable, but much, much more quiet and harder to get to.

Korean sunscreen.

We couldn't go for a snorkel trip to Coral Island because of the weather. Towards the south end of ABC there is less rocky beach and you can swim out to go snorkeling. We swam with a turtle and Terri spotted these BIG fish that a local later said was probably a Napoleon fish. They were ramming at the coral with their big teeth and let us get close. That's when I freaked myself out and started imagining them turning to eat ME.

Napoleon fish


From Tioman, we took a boat back to Mersing and caught a bus an hour later to get to Cherating. We actually only bought tickets to Kuantan, but then paid (bribed) the bus driver 6 RM each to get dropped at Cherating, rather than get another local bus. It was his idea and the bus was going right by...

Cherating was a cute little village, but definitely felt like a tourist spot. I guess some British woman opened a B&B there awhile back and since then it's became a popular spot, though it doesn't seem any better than any other part of the coast...There were a lot of locals there, holidaying the weekend away, which makes the touristy feel not so negative. At least you're with locals... With a new east-west highway cutting travel time from KL from 5 hours to 3, it's an easy getaway.

We decided to stay at one of the more expensive (60 RM/night) cabins right on the beach, rather than drag our bags around looking for something else. Plus, the skies were threatening to dump on us.

The beach was really wide and the water very shallow. Of course it rained...but apa boleh buat? What can you do?

At Cherating

We went to check out the restaurant attached to some chalets called Shadow of the Moon at Half Past Four. I love that name. It was a bit eccentric (which is what it was going for) and the owner offered me some wild boar. It was pretty tasty, but seemed to be dark meat. Isn't pork supposed to be the other white meat? Is boar different? The owner said he used to go hunting himself, but stopped after mistakenly killing a mother boar. They killed Bambi's mother and that made a good movie...

We played pool with some rather sketchy drunk locals and called it a night kind of early, after rumors of a trannie show seemed unlikely to materialize.

Maverick

There were no bus tickets left from Kuantan to KL on Sunday and Terri needed to get back by Monday to get a visa for Vietnam, so we decided to fork over the big bucks to share a service taxi. (56 RM each rather than a 20 RM bus ticket).

A Malay guy in a bomber jacket (despite the heat) searched for another passenger to share the taxi with us (unsuccessfully) while Terri and I lunched. We decided to call him Maverick. He had to get to KL that night and I envisioned a dying relative or a wife in labour awaiting his return. Turns out he was the captain of the Air Force squash team and Monday was the annual Army-Navy-Air Force competition and he needed to be in KL earlyish Sunday night so that he could go out partying. Oh brother.

Maverick admitted that he'd decided to become a pilot because he saw Top Gun when he was a teenager. So Terri decided to quiz him. She'd say a line from the movie and he'd say the next. It was eerie and warped. I've only seen the movie once, but these two knew it cold. Kin, the Canadian pilot Erika and I traveled with in Penang, also knew the movie backwards and forwards.

Mav was pretty much your stereotypical pilot: cocky, full of himself, a braggart about womanizing and drinking. Russia will be training four Malaysian pilots to become astronauts and he's been shortlisted (4 out of the 10 candidates will become national heroes!).

It wasn't until well into our journey--at least 2 hours--that we discovered he had a wife and two daughters. This is where things got interesting.

He makes his wife wear tudung (the Malay word for the Islamic headscarf). He said that if he didn't, he'd be held responsible on the Day of Judgment. He believes that now that his daughter is 7, the obligatory age to pray, it is his right to beat her if she doesn't pray.

This infuriates me. How can he NOT see the hypocrisy?! He's worried about being judged for his wife not wearing the scarf, but he drinks and womanizes. What about personal responsibility for your own actions, buddy?!

Fortunate for him, he had to direct the taxi driver so that I couldn't grill him. There was just enough time before we got out of the car, after directions were given, for him to tell us a dirty joke. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

The Nerve, The Audacity.
It’s Laughable, actually.

From the Ex-Roommate (who supposedly didn't know his gf was calling me):


Dear Jill,

It was appreciated that you removed our URL from your blog, thank you. [tempted to put it back!]

May I just take a moment of your time please to offer you a thought from a different perspective. [here come the excuses.]

I do believe that complacency here has resulted in people tending to treat their fellow citizens with what amounts to be contempt. (Which is bad right?) When I pointed out for that person to help her I was at the front of the line. I remember it clearly, the person had no inclination
or regard to assist their colleague whatsoever nor for the people in the long cue, surely this is where the focus for discontent should be directed. Yes I clapped to bring this to his attention after he dismissed me, but remember I was the one next in line, please appreciate that my concern was for all the people behind me and all the people in future lines. I knowingly took on the potential reticule from those that might not realize the true intent of my cause. We all try to do our bit, even if it may well be misguided or not appreciated by some. [amazing, the way he falsely remembers and then deludes himself.]

I am not a bad person, actually I am a good person. You must see how I am heavily focused on helping the poor, this is my genuine calling and it is to my own detriment. I was in a very compromised position at that time but despite that please remember that I treated you fairly at all times, never did the wrong thing by you, I gave to you, I gave for you and only showed you good will. I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable at times but I do admit I am human. [incredible. i'm really at a loss for words at this blatant lie. lying to me and cheating me = TREATING ME FAIRLY?!]

It is my birthday today and I was pleased to see the url removed, however a search still brings up my name to your blog and as I am the only Gavin in Asia I would appreciate it if you could substitute my name please.

I think that some wrong information and misunderstands have been cleared now and we can all feel better that it has been addressed and is now water under the bridge.

Thank you
Regards

Gavin

Up Next?
As I prepare to leave Malaysia, I distract myself with What Is To Follow.

Maybe the Peace Corps. I first learned about the PC in high school, when I was at a short academic summer program in Wisconsin for some thing or other, and was super excited about it. As I got older, I worried about the cultural imperialism of it all and the "white person comes to save the village" attitude--when in reality that volunteer has no real experience or skills and the village has gotten on by itself for decades or even centuries.

I spent much of yesterday surfing the internet and found a BlogRing for Peace Corps volunteers. (Which made me think maybe I should try to start one for Fulbright?!)

American Idle links to an article by Marissa Mika, who must be somewhere in Africa by now. She writes, "When I think about the alternative, which is finding a job that pays the bills while I try to figure out what graduate programs to apply to, it seems like a holding pattern similar to a "stupefy" curse from Harry Potter. I could be frozen for a time and then wake up to find myself in exactly the same place. Put in that light, the decision is obvious."

I have so many friends who had problems finding jobs upon graduation and see my sister and her friends going through the same thing now. Marissa quotes an unidentified reader: "Graduating now is so much harder than it was just three years ago. You do not have the armies of recruiters and flood of career fairs we did in 2000. Confusion reigns. Assistance is scarce. What are young people to do when they graduate? With so few options out there, why can't we be more supportive of our grads?"

Before the Peace Corps idea took hold last week, I'd been thinking of grad school (MA in International and Comparative Legal Studies at SOAS in the UK; MA in Human Rights from the London School of Economics; MA in International Human Rights from the University for Peace in Costa Rica), but...they're kind of expensive and I'm still not sure what I want to do, so don't know what I need to do/study yet!

Law school has sort of faded from the screen, though if I were to go that route, I think the only school for me would be Northeastern in Boston, which has a unique 2nd and 3rd year cooperative program; you spend 3 months taking classes, then 3 months doing an internship (which can be abroad!). And more people there end up in public interest and there are no grades, so none of that evil-student-sabotages-classmates-to-get-a-better-grade crap.

Post-Christmas I want to be abroad and doing 'good' work. The problem is getting a paid job to do that without a degree or another year or two of work experience. The solution could be Peace Corps!

I don't know if I mentioned other (unpaid) Africa options I've lined up. I'd fund them with the money I saved this year from Fulbright, but...would rather have an internship/job that at least covered expenses---very hard to come by!

• Interning in Ghana with WILDAF (Women in Law and Development in Africa). The director said I could contribute in the following ways:

1. Assist to put together the annual report of wildaf which we can publish.
2. Assist with the development of a manual on legal literacy training in Ghana
3. Assist with the planning and design of workshops that touch on elections, legal literacy, HIV/AIDS and violence against women. Basically I will expect a lot of input from you regarding contents for these workshops based on proposals that have been developed by me.
4. You will be required to visit our focal offices outside of the capital city Accra, which are found to the Eastern and Western parts of Accra to get on the hands experience with the legal literacy work that they carry out in communities. Our Western Region office will be working with refugee women so your experience will be helpful.
5. Wildaf is also involved with advocacy at the international level, i.e. working around the Protocol on the rights of women to the African Charter, CEDAW etc

• Interning with the Indigenous Information Network in Kenya. I'd be able to stay with Lucy, the woman mentioned in this article, for a month or so. Then she told me I could go out into the bush and live with the nomadic Maasai warriors! She seems to know that I don't have any real skills to offer, but thinks it's important that I be exposed to the human rights, land use, etc issues.

Okay, back to the Peace Corps. If this post goes back and forth a lot, it's because that's what my brain has been doing!

One drawback is that the Peace Corps is a 2 year committment, in addition to 3 months of training. That always seemed like a long time to me, but looking back over the last year, it does seem to have gone by rather quickly. As has the two years since graduation. And, I read that nearly 1/3 of 6,500+ volunteers drop out...not that I'm planning to drop out, but doesn't seem to be completely impossible should something (better) come up or it not feel right once I'm in it.

I also worry that I'd get stuck in an assignment where I didn't actually do anything. This Fulbright year has been quite...undemanding and a bit slow work-wise. Sometimes I feel frustrated that I'm not doing something more helpful to society. In Egypt, at the Refugee Legal Aid Project, I was happy to be working 60 hour weeks because I knew I was helping. Going somewhere and sitting on my hands is not what I'm looking for. But I suppose I would be more inclined now to take the initiative to change my situation if that happened.

After applying and being accepted, you're offered a position in a certain country for a certain assignment and then you can either accept or reject. I'm not sure what happens if you reject it (eg if they give you another or you're out of luck for being picky). You can list preferences for geographical location: my country choices would be Peru, Chile, Costa Rica, Morrocco, or Tanzania, I think. I refuse to teach English--no patience and if I was going to do that, I might as well be doing it in Korea or Japan where you can make good money doing it! Plus, I want an assignment that will help me figure out my future and gain skills (like learning Spanish!).

Other qoutes that got me thinking:

From a Jane magazine article that I just lost the link for:

• "At the top of Heather's problem/solution board is: 'Not sure if I joined because I wanted to, or just to prove how good I actually am to peeps...I get bored, restless, and unmotivated." Part of my internal push to get a Masters is so that I can 'make something of myself' and there seems to be some sort of time constraint built into my head, no doubt planted by subliminal societal pressures. As a Yalie, I have the over-achiever can't-settle-for-second-best attitude that makes me wince at the idea of not going to a top 20 school---damn LSAT score--even if the lower ranked Northeastern more closely fits my long-term career interests!
• "Development money could be spent in better ways than sending out more inexperienced kids with few skills to offer," says Suerire who has a history degree from Yale. "I totally put myself in that group. I was supposed to train teachers in South Africa to teach the new post-apartheid curriculum. I was in a group of 39, and about 30 of us had no full-time teaching experience. The whole proposition was ludicrous. The Peace Corps could have thought a little harder about what's the best way of using volunteers and their skills and backgrounds."
• "Lots of returned PCVs had intensely worthwhile experiences--many say they got more than they gave. 'There's not a whole lot you offer, except your youthful enthusiams and Americanism,' says Suerie."

"I still do not understand who was running the show, or what they did, or even what the Peace Corps actually was, apart from an enlightened excuse for sending us to poor countries. Those countries are still poor. We were the ones who were enriched, and sometimes I think that we remind those people--as if they needed such a thing--that they were being left out. We stayed a while, and then we left them. And yet I think I would do it again. At an uncertain time in my life I joined. And up to a point--they gave me a lot of rope--the Peace Corps allowed me to be myself. I realized that it was much better to be neglected than manipulated, and I had learned that you make your own life." Paul Theroux, When the Peace Corps was Young

From Travels in Bananaland, a Peace Corps volunteer in St. Lucia wrote:

• came to have a new understanding of 'work,' 'success' and 'achievement' in my life. came to terms with the overachiever mentality that causes me undo stress. attempted to battle those demons. see above!
• Changed assignments several times--once officially, and again unofficially. Found my own projects and community partners, and finally got some things done once i worked with people who wanted me there and respected my skills and my time.
• Boredom so profound that I resort to being excited about a 1-day a week job where I staple, address envelopes and do data entry because they have air conditioning, dsl and are nice to me (for this I went US$15,000 into debt in grad school?) At least I'd be doing it BEFORE I was in grad school debt...
  

I guess it doesn't hurt any to apply...see what happens...

Anyone else other there have thoughts/questions/experiences to lead me to a decision?! Or better yet--offer me a job?!!?

Zee Aforementioned Cards!
(censored)










Street fight. Terri spotted this fabulous background!

I'm in love and really, really giddy

Terri has this fabulous camera, called a Lomo, that is so so so much fun! It's based on Russian spy technology and takes 4 pictures in 2 seconds and the photos turn out like a story board. Great for action shots!

Terri, Apit, and I traipsed around town today, armed with bright colored scarves, for a photo shoot. The locals probably thought we were crazy (but at least we had Apit with us!) and Terri nearly got run over by a car she was so intent on a picture, but it was some of the most fun I've had in a long time. (Note to remember: play Smuggler's Cove, a game like Capture the Flag, but with 'police' trying to catch people smuggling poker chips with the beam of their flashlight who then get to confiscate the goods, best on the beach! Courtesy Terri.)

The great thing about this camera is that you never know what you're going to get. The first picture posted below was supposed to be of my face, but the aim was off. There's no view finder, you just point and click once and pray for the best. In this case, the result was not what was intended, but random and a bit artsy! I'm convinced it's a great thing to have if you normally depend on a digital camera--where you know for sure you got a good picture and the element of surprise is eliminated.



Evil Genius




(Jaywalker)




Heroine



I had decided to have business cards made here in Malaysia because it is so much cheaper than in the US. We had a vision---use the Lomo photos ON the business cards. Tonight we made that dream a reality. We used the photos from above (which is why they are in digital form and I can share them and just now discovered how to put my own pix up with Flickr!). We were blessed with Ricky, a designer with great ideas and the necessary amount of patience to deal with our indecisiveness (and I just saw some graffiti from the train window--the only word: Ricky!).

When designing the cards, I was really weirded out by my last name. I kept looking at it, thinking it couldn't possibly be spelled right and hoping I hadn't lost my mind. It even came to me checking my driver's license. There was something about various fonts that made the 'noe' sandwiched between the tall 'h' and 'b' look really, really strange.

I'm taking orders, if anyone has a desire for some business cards! And they don't have to be serious (the top hairshot had my name, 'evil genius', and email only, to give out to non-business/work related people; Terri's beach shot said 'heroine'). We have pages of notes scribbled and every few hours, further inspiration strikes us with something funny or appropriate to put with a certain picture/action or for a specific person. Just send me the picture and the information you want! I love doing this! And the same place as the abilities to make tshirts--another fun project. And I want to make postcards using the Lomo photos, too!

Terri left this morning for Vietnam, but will be back in a couple of weeks for a few days! More playtime then!

DEPARTURE UPDATE: October 31st. I'll spend a few days in San Fran and then I'll be in Iowa till after Christmas!

PUBLISHED: I was out of town and then running around town with Terri till today. Missed the chance to tell you all that my article about the headscarf was posted on Saltmag.net here, but it's pretty much the same as the link on the sidebar from before. Any thoughts about a real publication that might want this piece!??! Suggestions welcome!