Friday, February 11, 2005
Thursday, December 30, 2004
I bought my ticket! Chicago to Accra, Ghana. Sunday, February 6th.
I decided that a complicated credit card mishap in the process of buying the ticket was not a signal from above that I shouldn’t go. It’s a one-way ticket, so that leaves me free to play things by ear. Before, it was all in my mind, but now the money’s been put on the line. I’m going. I’m really going.
You’d think I’d be used to it by now, all this travel and moving. I’m sure that packing will be easier. I’m only taking a big hiking backpack. There are still other procedural things to take care of: the visa, travel insurance. Further attempts to establish Iowa-Ghana or Yale-Ghana or Fulbright-Ghana contacts. I get occasional bouts of “what am I doing?!?!?,” brought on by my realization that I know no one in Ghana and have no real idea what it will be like. But with the past two years under my belt, I’m more excited about possibilities than immobilized by anxiety.
Peace Corps is out. The medical forms are too annoying to go through since I doubt it is something I’ll end up doing anyway. But in the end, I decided Eastern Europe could have been good for me. I don’t know much about that corner of the world, so it’s been added to my list. I was in Romania for 12 hours on a long layover once (and still have $30 in Romania lei I can’t get converted!). That region still only inspires vague images of Transylvanian vampires, gypsies, skinny gymnasts, and really, really cute old people (that was the one impression that Bucharest left on me).
Since I’ve been back—almost two months now—I feel like a sociologist. I watch crappy TV shows to see what is being produced and watched; I eavesdrop on the people I work with to get a feel for what Middle America does, thinks, cooks; I’m a wallflower at bars. (In reality, the reasons are that I have no life, find those admittedly terrible shows amusing, have nothing better to do at work, and think Iowa boys too bland). I find myself stepping back and observing, much more than participating, though this has diminished as time passes.
I had Chinese food a few weeks ago and Indian yesterday. So disappointing. The food wasn't as good as it was in Malaysia, it cost 9 times as much, and I wasn't eating it in an open air restaurant with plastic chairs walking distance from my apartment. Note to self: don't attempt to eat ethnic foods in order to remember or imagine; it will only make you depressed that you're not actually someplace exotic.
I feel more vulnerable when I'm back in Iowa. I worry about getting into car accidents, being responsible for accidents where someone gets hurt, getting sick, etc. When I'm away, I don't worry really, even though the language may be different, I don't know my way around, and I don't necessarily know the things that we take for granted here (like the number for 911, as I realized four days before I left Malaysia). I suppose I revert to being more child-like at home (being taken care of and pampered/spoiled as only a mother can)...I'm in closer proximity to loved ones, which somehow translates into a deeper fear of loss...Before leaving I get pre-emptively homesick, not wanting to go on any vacations or even leave my house as the departure date approaches. Which means, this blog is going to get a lot more boring before it gets a lot more interesting.
…
And so, I think this blog’s time has come. Thanks for coming to the show.
This production has been brought to you by the country Malaysia and the number 2004.
See you next year! New time, new place!
I decided that a complicated credit card mishap in the process of buying the ticket was not a signal from above that I shouldn’t go. It’s a one-way ticket, so that leaves me free to play things by ear. Before, it was all in my mind, but now the money’s been put on the line. I’m going. I’m really going.
You’d think I’d be used to it by now, all this travel and moving. I’m sure that packing will be easier. I’m only taking a big hiking backpack. There are still other procedural things to take care of: the visa, travel insurance. Further attempts to establish Iowa-Ghana or Yale-Ghana or Fulbright-Ghana contacts. I get occasional bouts of “what am I doing?!?!?,” brought on by my realization that I know no one in Ghana and have no real idea what it will be like. But with the past two years under my belt, I’m more excited about possibilities than immobilized by anxiety.
Peace Corps is out. The medical forms are too annoying to go through since I doubt it is something I’ll end up doing anyway. But in the end, I decided Eastern Europe could have been good for me. I don’t know much about that corner of the world, so it’s been added to my list. I was in Romania for 12 hours on a long layover once (and still have $30 in Romania lei I can’t get converted!). That region still only inspires vague images of Transylvanian vampires, gypsies, skinny gymnasts, and really, really cute old people (that was the one impression that Bucharest left on me).
Since I’ve been back—almost two months now—I feel like a sociologist. I watch crappy TV shows to see what is being produced and watched; I eavesdrop on the people I work with to get a feel for what Middle America does, thinks, cooks; I’m a wallflower at bars. (In reality, the reasons are that I have no life, find those admittedly terrible shows amusing, have nothing better to do at work, and think Iowa boys too bland). I find myself stepping back and observing, much more than participating, though this has diminished as time passes.
I had Chinese food a few weeks ago and Indian yesterday. So disappointing. The food wasn't as good as it was in Malaysia, it cost 9 times as much, and I wasn't eating it in an open air restaurant with plastic chairs walking distance from my apartment. Note to self: don't attempt to eat ethnic foods in order to remember or imagine; it will only make you depressed that you're not actually someplace exotic.
I feel more vulnerable when I'm back in Iowa. I worry about getting into car accidents, being responsible for accidents where someone gets hurt, getting sick, etc. When I'm away, I don't worry really, even though the language may be different, I don't know my way around, and I don't necessarily know the things that we take for granted here (like the number for 911, as I realized four days before I left Malaysia). I suppose I revert to being more child-like at home (being taken care of and pampered/spoiled as only a mother can)...I'm in closer proximity to loved ones, which somehow translates into a deeper fear of loss...Before leaving I get pre-emptively homesick, not wanting to go on any vacations or even leave my house as the departure date approaches. Which means, this blog is going to get a lot more boring before it gets a lot more interesting.
…
And so, I think this blog’s time has come. Thanks for coming to the show.
This production has been brought to you by the country Malaysia and the number 2004.
See you next year! New time, new place!
I’ve seen the footage of the tsunami wreckage, but it just doesn’t seem real. Friends in Malaysia all seem to be accounted for. Terri, in the south of India, had me worried, but she and her friends there are safe, thankfully.
May it not turn out as bad as they’re saying it might.
May it not turn out as bad as they’re saying it might.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
This link's for you, Missy
I haven't forgotten about you, my fans! I have been recording thoughts and observations on random scraps of paper, which will someday soon (hopefully) turn themselves into a real blog entry.
Until that time, I thought I'd give you something tasty to tide you over. My First Canadian Friend Terri, who was with me for three weeks in Malaysia, started a blog. Her last three entries are mini-bio blurbs, on me and two of my closest Malaysian friends. It's always interesting to read what someone has to say about you or people you know (fyi, my code name is Dmag, no secret there). And there are pictures, too. Follow this link to "Meet Mind Minus Meat" to meet one (re)dreadlocked friend and one scarved activist I once called Layla, and to hear what Terri has to say to Ed Norton about me, his protege. NOTE: she just added a blog about our last full day in Malaysia; I haven't blogged it and now have no need to since she did such a great job recording it!
Anyone know anyone in Ghana? Or Albania/Macedonia/Bulgaria/Romania/or Moldova?!
I haven't forgotten about you, my fans! I have been recording thoughts and observations on random scraps of paper, which will someday soon (hopefully) turn themselves into a real blog entry.
Until that time, I thought I'd give you something tasty to tide you over. My First Canadian Friend Terri, who was with me for three weeks in Malaysia, started a blog. Her last three entries are mini-bio blurbs, on me and two of my closest Malaysian friends. It's always interesting to read what someone has to say about you or people you know (fyi, my code name is Dmag, no secret there). And there are pictures, too. Follow this link to "Meet Mind Minus Meat" to meet one (re)dreadlocked friend and one scarved activist I once called Layla, and to hear what Terri has to say to Ed Norton about me, his protege. NOTE: she just added a blog about our last full day in Malaysia; I haven't blogged it and now have no need to since she did such a great job recording it!
Anyone know anyone in Ghana? Or Albania/Macedonia/Bulgaria/Romania/or Moldova?!
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Still living and breathing.
Started a temp job--mind-numbing data entry--on Tuesday, which necessitates that I avoid computers after work hours or go insane. Hence the lack of bloggage.
Weekend's here and once I get an application or two off (more on that later), we'll see if I can sit still long enough to catch up.
Hope you are all well!
Started a temp job--mind-numbing data entry--on Tuesday, which necessitates that I avoid computers after work hours or go insane. Hence the lack of bloggage.
Weekend's here and once I get an application or two off (more on that later), we'll see if I can sit still long enough to catch up.
Hope you are all well!
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Seen, heard, noted
In San Francisco
A man blowing a big bubble with gum the same pink as his shirt. A man with an "I voted" sticker on his nose. Lots of dogs being walked. An excited young man stopped in front of the restaurant window where we were eating and held up a sign that said "Justice for Same Sex Couples" before jumping and running off down the street. 5 guys with dreadlocks (almost as if I were back in Central Market!). 2 transsexuals on the train (almost as if I were back in Central Market!).
In the airport
I tried to identify The Enemy in the Denver airport. Afterall, I am curious to know who all those people who voted for Bush are...
That guy in a cowboy hat, likely. Then I saw his carry-on: a manly version of a hatbox, with a cross and his name painted on the side. For sure. That woman with the big bangs, who reminded me of my third grade teacher (but at least that was the 80s). That other woman with the big hair, flipping through a magazine with lots of pictures. That guy with a cowboy hat. And that one.
What is with this country? So many cowboy hats and so much big hair?!
My team? The young black man. The student listening to his headphones and reading Adbusters.
....
And then it became difficult to distinguish. That's the scary part: they blend in, for the most part.
On the airplane
The man had a bible in his briefcase. Definitely One of Them. His wife, sitting next to me, then confirmed the matter. 8 kids. Found son's truck by his Bush-Cheney sticker (in liberal Iowa City, it would definitely have been in the minority).
After she learned that I had been researching Islamic economics in Malaysia on a Fulbright, she asked me: "So do you have respect for that religion?"
I said, yes, I do. I have a lot of friends who are Muslim.
She then promptly told me that she thinks there are extremists in every religion.
It's a positive that she recognizes and admits that.
On another flight
The red-haired, big-busomed middle-aged stewardess asked me what I was reading: The Problem from Hell, America and the Age of Genocide. Then she told me she liked reading and had recently bought two books on the Middle East. Saudi Arabia and Persia--that's Iran, she said. About how the women are treated.
Oh brother, I hope it isn't one of those "all Muslim women are oppressed" books...But at least she's reading. It's just a matter of with what she is educating herself.
On the blog
I had referred you all to a blog I liked (www.kathrynjane.blogspot.com) and found witty. She's apparently one of them! Even went canvassing in PA! That was a surprise. And I so thought I would have liked her. CHECK THE COMMENT. LOOKS LIKE I MISREAD HER POST AND SHE WAS KIND ENOUGH TO SET ME STRAIGHT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BOYCOTT HER BLOG!
On us versus them
My sister told me to be more tolerant and not hate everyone who is Republican or religious. I don't...not really....
Though it's tempting...
In San Francisco
A man blowing a big bubble with gum the same pink as his shirt. A man with an "I voted" sticker on his nose. Lots of dogs being walked. An excited young man stopped in front of the restaurant window where we were eating and held up a sign that said "Justice for Same Sex Couples" before jumping and running off down the street. 5 guys with dreadlocks (almost as if I were back in Central Market!). 2 transsexuals on the train (almost as if I were back in Central Market!).
In the airport
I tried to identify The Enemy in the Denver airport. Afterall, I am curious to know who all those people who voted for Bush are...
That guy in a cowboy hat, likely. Then I saw his carry-on: a manly version of a hatbox, with a cross and his name painted on the side. For sure. That woman with the big bangs, who reminded me of my third grade teacher (but at least that was the 80s). That other woman with the big hair, flipping through a magazine with lots of pictures. That guy with a cowboy hat. And that one.
What is with this country? So many cowboy hats and so much big hair?!
My team? The young black man. The student listening to his headphones and reading Adbusters.
....
And then it became difficult to distinguish. That's the scary part: they blend in, for the most part.
On the airplane
The man had a bible in his briefcase. Definitely One of Them. His wife, sitting next to me, then confirmed the matter. 8 kids. Found son's truck by his Bush-Cheney sticker (in liberal Iowa City, it would definitely have been in the minority).
After she learned that I had been researching Islamic economics in Malaysia on a Fulbright, she asked me: "So do you have respect for that religion?"
I said, yes, I do. I have a lot of friends who are Muslim.
She then promptly told me that she thinks there are extremists in every religion.
It's a positive that she recognizes and admits that.
On another flight
The red-haired, big-busomed middle-aged stewardess asked me what I was reading: The Problem from Hell, America and the Age of Genocide. Then she told me she liked reading and had recently bought two books on the Middle East. Saudi Arabia and Persia--that's Iran, she said. About how the women are treated.
Oh brother, I hope it isn't one of those "all Muslim women are oppressed" books...But at least she's reading. It's just a matter of with what she is educating herself.
On the blog
I had referred you all to a blog I liked (www.kathrynjane.blogspot.com) and found witty. She's apparently one of them! Even went canvassing in PA! That was a surprise. And I so thought I would have liked her. CHECK THE COMMENT. LOOKS LIKE I MISREAD HER POST AND SHE WAS KIND ENOUGH TO SET ME STRAIGHT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BOYCOTT HER BLOG!
On us versus them
My sister told me to be more tolerant and not hate everyone who is Republican or religious. I don't...not really....
Though it's tempting...
Friday, November 05, 2004
Variations on the Theme
Two Nations Under God
By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN
Excerpts from the Nov. 4th New York Times
Two Nations Under God
By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN
Excerpts from the Nov. 4th New York Times
Why did I wake up feeling deeply troubled yesterday?
...what troubled me yesterday was my feeling that this election was tipped because of an outpouring of support for George Bush by people who don't just favor different policies than I do - they favor a whole different kind of America. We don't just disagree on what America should be doing; we disagree on what America is.
Is it a country that does not intrude into people's sexual preferences and the marriage unions they want to make? Is it a country that allows a woman to have control over her body? Is it a country where the line between church and state bequeathed to us by our Founding Fathers should be inviolate? Is it a country where religion doesn't trump science? And, most important, is it a country whose president mobilizes its deep moral energies to unite us - instead of dividing us from one another and from the world?
...Despite an utterly incompetent war performance in Iraq and a stagnant economy, Mr. Bush held onto the same basic core of states that he won four years ago - as if nothing had happened. It seemed as if people were not voting on his performance. It seemed as if they were voting for what team they were on.
This was not an election. This was station identification. I'd bet anything that if the election ballots hadn't had the names Bush and Kerry on them but simply asked instead, "Do you watch Fox TV or read The New York Times?" the Electoral College would have broken the exact same way.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Get me out of here
The election results were NOT a warm welcome back to the States for me. I may have to try to leave sooner than expected...........
An email from my sister Katrina to her friends:
The election results were NOT a warm welcome back to the States for me. I may have to try to leave sooner than expected...........
An email from my sister Katrina to her friends:
So as I was driving home this morning, I had a stronger reaction than I had expected. In a very weird way I felt similar to how I felt the morning of Sept. 11--shocked and confused but mainly scared for the future of our country and more specifically scared for the future of the people I love who are spread out across the country. Obviously I am not comparing today to Sept. 11 directly. But it surprised me at how much the feeling of doom hung over me just as it did then.
I have since been home and done things to distract myself, but I can't help but wonder what is in store for the US and the world. The optimist in me says that it can't really be that bad...things will work out fine, blah blah blah. A friend told me that four years ago when Bush had won he thought to himself, "well how much damage can one guy really do?" and has since thought that perhaps it was more than he would've expected. Today he jokingly said that again and although we half-laughed about it, my mind really was filled with all the things I fear could happen under Bush (from a reversal of Roe V. Wade to an amendment against civil unions and gay marriage to a draft and escalated conflict throughout the world).
So I guess right now I'm still trying to hang onto that optimism. And simply praying for our futures. Thanks for letting me get these thoughts out of my own head and onto the screen...
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
How did the country get so polarized?
