Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Ah, there it is
Bureaucracy at the bank
While I had been anticipating red tape at the embassies and found none, I got a dose of it today at the Malaysian bank where I have an account. It seems I can only do an electronic transfer (to my bank in the US) from the branch where I opened my account. That happens to be at the university, a good hour from where I'm living now. Plus, everytime I go to that branch, the line is tremendously long. To annoy me further, they didn't even have a good explanation for why they couldn't do it for me...Simply, 'we don't have the code and can't do it.' If there was some logic, some reason, I could accept it better. Instead, I have to make a day of it tomorrow...
Swastikas
Fashion, not ideology
I made reference before to seeing a guy in a swastika t-shirt at a Buddhist temple, a kid with it shaved in his head, and it graffited on a wall...After learning that the Nazis co-opted the symbol, which has origins in Buddhism and Hinduism, I had hoped for the best. Turns out I was overly optimistic: it's not the religious symbol I'm seeing, but the taboo one. I didn't readily accept this at first--claiming that it couldn't possibly be Nazi symbology, for the very kids sporting it or spraying it wouldn't even fit into the Nazi vison of the ideal Aryan and would himself be targeted.
One of my sources was a guy who works at a shop that sells vintage-style clothes, as well as Doc Martins and swastika t-shirts (I think), frequented by 'punks.' He claims to 'know his market' and himself understands the ideology behind the image. I also talked to my roommate, who had a few friends in high school who were in a band and sported questionable attire. Both claimed that the meaning of the dress and swastika was not understood by the kids who donned it. They just liked the image, the style, looking tough and 'alternative.' It wasn't an endorsement of Nazism; it was trendy. The kids either outgrew the style or else eventually found out its meaning and rejected it, according to the store-guy. Elizabeth, my roommate, said that she thought that if the kids found out what it meant, they wouldn't care...or it would just encourage them in their attempt to be rebellious, but also said that the guys in this band were really nice.
It was hard for me to understand how anyone could 1) not know or 2) not care what it meant, its associations and history. More on the history (ancient and modern) of the swastika here. It even says that in Germany, public displays of Nazi symbols are illegal and punishable. I guess it comes down to the fact that Malaysians don't have the same Holocaust-consciousness that we do in the U.S.
Similarly, the use of the word "nigger" doesn't have the same connotations here in Malaysia (or Egypt) because the history of slavery, the KKK, etc. is missing. Just yesterday a Malay friend used the word, in passing, meaning no harm, not knowing how offensive it is. The same thing happened in Egypt. People hear the word in rap songs and just don't know. I always try to make it clear that the word is not okay to use and they generally are surprised, but willing to eliminate it from their vocabulary. (The alternative? Usually they substitute "black skin.") I asked Africans in Egypt if they understood its negativity and for the most part, they did.
The next time I see a swastika on someone, I hope to somehow engage the person in conversation so that I can get to the bottom of this. Straight from the horse's mouth and I'll be forced to release my hesitations and reservations about how improbable it is...
Seeing again
Andi-inspired
I looked around myself at dinner tonight and thought: "yeah, definitely not America." Health standards: out the window. Old chinese men (often with several long, white hairs growing out of moles on their chins) drinking Tiger beer...kids slurping noodles, seated in red plastic chairs stacked three high so they can reach the table...a floursecent-lit open-air restaurant on the corner, with the revving of motorbikes punctuating each stop light change...orders shouted--never, never written down.
But, like Andi said in her post today, it's not unfamilar or strange..."I have Adjusted. I have Adapted. And that is what is strange." She articulates things so much better than I do.
Dogood
Yesterday was the 5-month marker for me and I had a spasm of what next?!!? anxiety. (Katrina: I'm reminded what it's like to be a senior again and momentarily felt your pain!) I spoke with the Fulbright director today when I was at the office...he seemed to think that I just need to keep following my intuition, wherever that might take me. Said that I'm not following a traditional, straight path (but there's nothing wrong with that), so there are bound to be times of uncertainty.
Also suggested a Masters in NGO management, claiming that that would be where I was going to end up. I hadn't thought about that before really...but I do know that I can't think of any work besides NGO/development/human rights type stuff that would interest me at all. He claimed that, given my educational background and experience, I'd be in a position where I would naturally rise up to be in management and that there is a great need in the sector for people who are organized, have good people skills, etc. The thing is, that is what the Masters would teach, and I kind of think that it's not something to learn...and it sounds boring!
...Law school is still a possibility, though not for this fall...Africa? Peace corps? Fulbright extension for a few more months if possible? Maybe something in Thailand or Cambodia (see what happens on this trip next week)? Aiya. The problem---no, strike that--the thing is, I have no geographical requirements to limit me, making the options seem limitless! And me, directionless!
I must say, though, that it feels good to be floating. Instead of seriously freaking out like I could be doing, I generally feel free and very, very lucky. Bridget and I had a conversation about feeling compelled to "start real life"...ba-humbug! This is real life!
Bureaucracy at the bank
While I had been anticipating red tape at the embassies and found none, I got a dose of it today at the Malaysian bank where I have an account. It seems I can only do an electronic transfer (to my bank in the US) from the branch where I opened my account. That happens to be at the university, a good hour from where I'm living now. Plus, everytime I go to that branch, the line is tremendously long. To annoy me further, they didn't even have a good explanation for why they couldn't do it for me...Simply, 'we don't have the code and can't do it.' If there was some logic, some reason, I could accept it better. Instead, I have to make a day of it tomorrow...
Swastikas
Fashion, not ideology
I made reference before to seeing a guy in a swastika t-shirt at a Buddhist temple, a kid with it shaved in his head, and it graffited on a wall...After learning that the Nazis co-opted the symbol, which has origins in Buddhism and Hinduism, I had hoped for the best. Turns out I was overly optimistic: it's not the religious symbol I'm seeing, but the taboo one. I didn't readily accept this at first--claiming that it couldn't possibly be Nazi symbology, for the very kids sporting it or spraying it wouldn't even fit into the Nazi vison of the ideal Aryan and would himself be targeted.
One of my sources was a guy who works at a shop that sells vintage-style clothes, as well as Doc Martins and swastika t-shirts (I think), frequented by 'punks.' He claims to 'know his market' and himself understands the ideology behind the image. I also talked to my roommate, who had a few friends in high school who were in a band and sported questionable attire. Both claimed that the meaning of the dress and swastika was not understood by the kids who donned it. They just liked the image, the style, looking tough and 'alternative.' It wasn't an endorsement of Nazism; it was trendy. The kids either outgrew the style or else eventually found out its meaning and rejected it, according to the store-guy. Elizabeth, my roommate, said that she thought that if the kids found out what it meant, they wouldn't care...or it would just encourage them in their attempt to be rebellious, but also said that the guys in this band were really nice.
It was hard for me to understand how anyone could 1) not know or 2) not care what it meant, its associations and history. More on the history (ancient and modern) of the swastika here. It even says that in Germany, public displays of Nazi symbols are illegal and punishable. I guess it comes down to the fact that Malaysians don't have the same Holocaust-consciousness that we do in the U.S.
Similarly, the use of the word "nigger" doesn't have the same connotations here in Malaysia (or Egypt) because the history of slavery, the KKK, etc. is missing. Just yesterday a Malay friend used the word, in passing, meaning no harm, not knowing how offensive it is. The same thing happened in Egypt. People hear the word in rap songs and just don't know. I always try to make it clear that the word is not okay to use and they generally are surprised, but willing to eliminate it from their vocabulary. (The alternative? Usually they substitute "black skin.") I asked Africans in Egypt if they understood its negativity and for the most part, they did.
The next time I see a swastika on someone, I hope to somehow engage the person in conversation so that I can get to the bottom of this. Straight from the horse's mouth and I'll be forced to release my hesitations and reservations about how improbable it is...
Seeing again
Andi-inspired
I looked around myself at dinner tonight and thought: "yeah, definitely not America." Health standards: out the window. Old chinese men (often with several long, white hairs growing out of moles on their chins) drinking Tiger beer...kids slurping noodles, seated in red plastic chairs stacked three high so they can reach the table...a floursecent-lit open-air restaurant on the corner, with the revving of motorbikes punctuating each stop light change...orders shouted--never, never written down.
But, like Andi said in her post today, it's not unfamilar or strange..."I have Adjusted. I have Adapted. And that is what is strange." She articulates things so much better than I do.
Dogood
Yesterday was the 5-month marker for me and I had a spasm of what next?!!? anxiety. (Katrina: I'm reminded what it's like to be a senior again and momentarily felt your pain!) I spoke with the Fulbright director today when I was at the office...he seemed to think that I just need to keep following my intuition, wherever that might take me. Said that I'm not following a traditional, straight path (but there's nothing wrong with that), so there are bound to be times of uncertainty.
Also suggested a Masters in NGO management, claiming that that would be where I was going to end up. I hadn't thought about that before really...but I do know that I can't think of any work besides NGO/development/human rights type stuff that would interest me at all. He claimed that, given my educational background and experience, I'd be in a position where I would naturally rise up to be in management and that there is a great need in the sector for people who are organized, have good people skills, etc. The thing is, that is what the Masters would teach, and I kind of think that it's not something to learn...and it sounds boring!
...Law school is still a possibility, though not for this fall...Africa? Peace corps? Fulbright extension for a few more months if possible? Maybe something in Thailand or Cambodia (see what happens on this trip next week)? Aiya. The problem---no, strike that--the thing is, I have no geographical requirements to limit me, making the options seem limitless! And me, directionless!
I must say, though, that it feels good to be floating. Instead of seriously freaking out like I could be doing, I generally feel free and very, very lucky. Bridget and I had a conversation about feeling compelled to "start real life"...ba-humbug! This is real life!
