Tuesday, December 09, 2003
Hari Raya, the celebration after Ramadan
Ramadan ended November 24th and it is followed by 3 days of festivities (but in Malaysia, they seem to drag it out beyond that even!). People have open houses, where their family and friends come and feast on food and children are given packets of money (called angpow, this tradition actually came from the Chinese custom of giving money in packets on Chinese New Year).
I went over to Nora's house on Tuesday and we went with her parents to three open houses. These were obviously wealthy people. The second had a tent set up and catered food--it reminded me of graduation parties: people going from house to house, money being given, and lots of food to eat!
On Wednesday, we drove to Nora's mom's village, Muar. It is about two hours away. The thing about Hari Raya in Malaysia is that Kuala Lumpur empties out and everyone goes back home. Which means traffic is bad in the rest of the country, but for once its okay in KL because its a ghost town. Nora's mom is from a family of 12 and most of the siblings and their own families came back! That's a lot of people! This was the first Hari Raya since their mother passed away, so things were a bit difficult for them both emotionally and logistically. After we arrived we went to some relation's open house (the familial connections were always a bit hazy for me...a cousin or a cousin's cousin, who know!?). He is somewhere high up on the totem for UMNO (the party in power) at a district level, so everyone in the whole area was invited. Nora's dad asked if it reminded me of a county fair. I didn't see any cows or pigs, so I'm gonna stick with the graduation party analogy. That was followed by stopping by the homes of many relatives--all of whom lived in the vicinity.
For dinner, the task was to grill chicken for all the family (at least 30 people). But I was personally put in charge of fries and chicken nuggets for the kids. My first time at the helm of a deep fat fryer, but I think I fared pretty well.
That night the lineup happened (see photos): the kids file past the aunts and uncles, giving 'salam' (shaking their hand and bringing it to their head...some kiss, some just put it up to their forehead), and getting a bit ole money in the process. Anyone who is not yet married or not yet working is eligible for the money (which means, if you start to work, you're responsible to give it!). One aunt told me that she normally gives 1000 RM total out (that's about $250). But I think a lot of that had to do with giving adult siblings who were less well-off money as well as her mother. Usually the kids get 3-20 RM/envelope. The kids went through by family, in order of age. After Nora went, her mom said it was MY turn! Egads! I wasn't supposed to be getting money from these strangers!?!? But they made me, and who am I to turn away from a cultural experience, right? Now I'm officially adopted into the family!
This family has a particular tradition that would fit in well with my family: to get the angpow $, the kids all have to perform. (I had visions of Tyler, Katrina, and I choreographing something well in advance!) After the kids sang songs, they got a RM or two more out of the aunts, like a tip. Well, Nora made me perform! I sang Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (terribly, I might add). All in all, I made away with about 55 RM from the packets and the tips! I think they appreciated that I was a good sport about it.
A lot of the family stayed in the house (which is where the mother had lived), sprawling out on the floor and couches; a few stayed at a hotel nearby. Thursday was more of the same, visiting family. Friday, Nora, her mother, and her little sister Aliyah and I went to Melaka, an old historic port town about an hour away. It was colonized by the Portuguese, then the Dutch, then the British, about 150 years one after the other (photos). On the ride home, Aliyah (who is 8), had to go to the bathroom really badly, so we pulled over to the side of the road. I had to go at the time too and was envious that she got to do that, while I suffered in silence! After we were back on the road and I realized I couldn't make it home (not knowing how long that would be either), I said something and we stopped. Not at a petrol station, but at something much more common along the road: a mosque.
We ended back to Muar to pack up our stuff and left at about 11 pm. We arrived back to KL at about 2:30 am, grabbed something to eat at an all-night hawker's stall, and slept a few hours before Nora and I left early in the morning to go to a wedding in a town about 2 hours to the north (we had been coming from the Muar and Melaka to the south).
Chinese Wedding in Ipoh with "Iowa Malaysians"
The groom of the wedding, Eric, studied at the UI and I met about 10 other "Iowa Malaysian." The 11 am wedding was held at a Methodist Church and I was surprised to see that people were wearing jeans and a children's choir that performed were wearing t-shirts. (Nora and I were overdressed! This was her first non-Muslim wedding, so neither of us knew!) When the congregation sang, they swayed, clapped, and even raised their hands up in the air in a way that I imagine Christians in the American South do. Throughout the sermon, I was struck by the large emphasis placed on Jesus. The marriage wasn't just between the bride and groom, but Jesus had to be at the center; romantic and brotherly love was not enough, there had to be love for Jesus to make the marriage work. Everything was Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
After the ceremony, a buffet lunch was provided at the church. Then the Iowa Malaysians and I went to another town about an hour away to eat seafood. It was a very small town and when I walked by one restaurant, I heard a guy sitting there say the word for foreigner that is commonly used (masalay). The problem with growing up in land-locked Iowa, I don't really know how to eat seafood. In the past I suppose I would have avoided having to or watched what everyone else was doing. This time I asked and was told how to eat prawn brain. Yum yum.
The wedding dinner celebration had a 9 course meal! We were assigned to tables--I was at the Iowa table. The food was brought out, course by course, on platters for each table to share from. I had fish lip soup (which replaced shark fin soup because it's really cruel to just kill a shark for only its fin). The Chinese have a tradition where the guests raise their glasses to the couple and shout "Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmm" (holding it out as long as they can) and then "Sing"! It's basically a cheers/long life type toast. Our table was definitely the best at it. And the students brought back the tinking of the glass to make the couple kiss with them; it's unknown here really and I was told that everyone else there probably thought our table was being rude. The bride and groom were shy and reluctant to do it, but finally (to shut us up), Eric kissed Peipei on the cheek. At one point Peipei's uncle came to our table to YumSing with us (he'd already put back a few) and made us bottoms up drinks he'd made us all refill.
When I got back to KL on Sunday afternoon, I was exhausted after so much traveling but happy to have seen and experienced so much in so short a time.
Ramadan ended November 24th and it is followed by 3 days of festivities (but in Malaysia, they seem to drag it out beyond that even!). People have open houses, where their family and friends come and feast on food and children are given packets of money (called angpow, this tradition actually came from the Chinese custom of giving money in packets on Chinese New Year).
I went over to Nora's house on Tuesday and we went with her parents to three open houses. These were obviously wealthy people. The second had a tent set up and catered food--it reminded me of graduation parties: people going from house to house, money being given, and lots of food to eat!
On Wednesday, we drove to Nora's mom's village, Muar. It is about two hours away. The thing about Hari Raya in Malaysia is that Kuala Lumpur empties out and everyone goes back home. Which means traffic is bad in the rest of the country, but for once its okay in KL because its a ghost town. Nora's mom is from a family of 12 and most of the siblings and their own families came back! That's a lot of people! This was the first Hari Raya since their mother passed away, so things were a bit difficult for them both emotionally and logistically. After we arrived we went to some relation's open house (the familial connections were always a bit hazy for me...a cousin or a cousin's cousin, who know!?). He is somewhere high up on the totem for UMNO (the party in power) at a district level, so everyone in the whole area was invited. Nora's dad asked if it reminded me of a county fair. I didn't see any cows or pigs, so I'm gonna stick with the graduation party analogy. That was followed by stopping by the homes of many relatives--all of whom lived in the vicinity.
For dinner, the task was to grill chicken for all the family (at least 30 people). But I was personally put in charge of fries and chicken nuggets for the kids. My first time at the helm of a deep fat fryer, but I think I fared pretty well.
That night the lineup happened (see photos): the kids file past the aunts and uncles, giving 'salam' (shaking their hand and bringing it to their head...some kiss, some just put it up to their forehead), and getting a bit ole money in the process. Anyone who is not yet married or not yet working is eligible for the money (which means, if you start to work, you're responsible to give it!). One aunt told me that she normally gives 1000 RM total out (that's about $250). But I think a lot of that had to do with giving adult siblings who were less well-off money as well as her mother. Usually the kids get 3-20 RM/envelope. The kids went through by family, in order of age. After Nora went, her mom said it was MY turn! Egads! I wasn't supposed to be getting money from these strangers!?!? But they made me, and who am I to turn away from a cultural experience, right? Now I'm officially adopted into the family!
This family has a particular tradition that would fit in well with my family: to get the angpow $, the kids all have to perform. (I had visions of Tyler, Katrina, and I choreographing something well in advance!) After the kids sang songs, they got a RM or two more out of the aunts, like a tip. Well, Nora made me perform! I sang Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (terribly, I might add). All in all, I made away with about 55 RM from the packets and the tips! I think they appreciated that I was a good sport about it.
A lot of the family stayed in the house (which is where the mother had lived), sprawling out on the floor and couches; a few stayed at a hotel nearby. Thursday was more of the same, visiting family. Friday, Nora, her mother, and her little sister Aliyah and I went to Melaka, an old historic port town about an hour away. It was colonized by the Portuguese, then the Dutch, then the British, about 150 years one after the other (photos). On the ride home, Aliyah (who is 8), had to go to the bathroom really badly, so we pulled over to the side of the road. I had to go at the time too and was envious that she got to do that, while I suffered in silence! After we were back on the road and I realized I couldn't make it home (not knowing how long that would be either), I said something and we stopped. Not at a petrol station, but at something much more common along the road: a mosque.
We ended back to Muar to pack up our stuff and left at about 11 pm. We arrived back to KL at about 2:30 am, grabbed something to eat at an all-night hawker's stall, and slept a few hours before Nora and I left early in the morning to go to a wedding in a town about 2 hours to the north (we had been coming from the Muar and Melaka to the south).
Chinese Wedding in Ipoh with "Iowa Malaysians"
The groom of the wedding, Eric, studied at the UI and I met about 10 other "Iowa Malaysian." The 11 am wedding was held at a Methodist Church and I was surprised to see that people were wearing jeans and a children's choir that performed were wearing t-shirts. (Nora and I were overdressed! This was her first non-Muslim wedding, so neither of us knew!) When the congregation sang, they swayed, clapped, and even raised their hands up in the air in a way that I imagine Christians in the American South do. Throughout the sermon, I was struck by the large emphasis placed on Jesus. The marriage wasn't just between the bride and groom, but Jesus had to be at the center; romantic and brotherly love was not enough, there had to be love for Jesus to make the marriage work. Everything was Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
After the ceremony, a buffet lunch was provided at the church. Then the Iowa Malaysians and I went to another town about an hour away to eat seafood. It was a very small town and when I walked by one restaurant, I heard a guy sitting there say the word for foreigner that is commonly used (masalay). The problem with growing up in land-locked Iowa, I don't really know how to eat seafood. In the past I suppose I would have avoided having to or watched what everyone else was doing. This time I asked and was told how to eat prawn brain. Yum yum.
The wedding dinner celebration had a 9 course meal! We were assigned to tables--I was at the Iowa table. The food was brought out, course by course, on platters for each table to share from. I had fish lip soup (which replaced shark fin soup because it's really cruel to just kill a shark for only its fin). The Chinese have a tradition where the guests raise their glasses to the couple and shout "Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmm" (holding it out as long as they can) and then "Sing"! It's basically a cheers/long life type toast. Our table was definitely the best at it. And the students brought back the tinking of the glass to make the couple kiss with them; it's unknown here really and I was told that everyone else there probably thought our table was being rude. The bride and groom were shy and reluctant to do it, but finally (to shut us up), Eric kissed Peipei on the cheek. At one point Peipei's uncle came to our table to YumSing with us (he'd already put back a few) and made us bottoms up drinks he'd made us all refill.
When I got back to KL on Sunday afternoon, I was exhausted after so much traveling but happy to have seen and experienced so much in so short a time.
